Thursday, June 28, 2012

Writing my book....

I have tossed around the idea of writing a book for a long time.  I have always known the story that I wanted to tell but I put it on the back burner to try my hand at another story, one that needs to be told as well.  The former is a true story, the latter fictional but loosely based on true life events.  I am going back to my first work in progress.  It's the story that has been in my heart for several years.

Most people in our circle know a few details of the struggle Mark and I faced on our fertility journey.  In fact that is how the name of this blog came day Laughter For The Journey might be found at a bookstore near you.  It is my dream to one day be a published author but more than that is my passion for this story, my story.  When it is published the book is meant to be a lighthearted look at our journey to become parents.  I have been writing a lot this evening and I have to confess I needed the break.  There were some dark moments way back before those two lines finally appeared on a urine soaked stick.  It's hard to let those memories wash over me.  I try not to let myself go back to that place in our lives because it was dark, and sad.  My heart hurts thinking about it, but it was real, and sometimes the pain, well it was brutal. 

As I sit here pecking away on my laptop, my sweet (yet oh so sassy) miracle is sleeping soundly tucked into her warm bed.  I sure am glad she can navigate around her latest, discarded wardrobe and the mountain of stuffed animals strewn about her floor, to get to her bed.  I have called Charli my "Sunshine Girl" since the day she was born.  I call her that because there was time when things were very dark but when she was born is was as though someone had turned the lights on in a dark room.
 I felt warmth, hope, joy, and life.  There was  life before Charli and life since Charli.  Please don't misunderstand, I adore my husband.  We loved each other a great deal then as we do now (though his ability to make me a crazy is uncanny) but we knew early on having a child could prove to be a struggle.  We never knew how long the road was going to be but I certainly won't ever forget where we came from.  It wasn't always easy but believe me looking back there was plenty to laugh at in spite of it all.  I am thankful for every single moment of motherhood even when I am the "meanest mom ever!"  I try to remind myself not to take the blessing of being a mother for granted, though I am certain there are days it seems that way.

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog post.  When the book is finished I promise there will be plenty of laughs.

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