I am sitting here pecking away at the keys on my keyboard, listening to the slow rain outside my window and the faint sounds of my 11 year old daughter, in the other room playing with our dog Marley. A simple moment of normalcy that we often take for granted. The smallest moments of every day life that could change in the blink of an eye, in a heart beat. Moments that drift by unnoticed, unappreciated, seemingly blending together because there are a million of them in a lifetime...or so we think.
As we welcome in a brand new year, most of us ponder what changes we would like to make in a never ending quest to be a better version of ourselves because somewhere along the way, we have come to the conclusion that we aren't good enough in our current state. We tend to seek acceptance, and I am no different. I'm not certain at what point in my life I began to be a people pleaser, maybe I always have been to some degree, and I didn't even notice it until it had gone to the extreme. Being a people pleaser was beginning to come at a cost. I was losing sleep, having health issues, and getting so mentally drained from always trying to be who and what so many other people needed me to be, that I didn't have much left over for me or my precious little family. The cost was too great, and I had to take a step back and reevaluate. 2013 brought about a season of change for me. Sometimes you have to release the things that you cling to double-fisted... you have to give yourself permission to let go.
In 2014 I resolve to...
* Let go...of my superwoman cape. I am a wife, mother, aspiring writer, small business owner, and full time employee working outside the home. (No, this doesn't mean I work harder than my stay at home mommy counter parts because I do not know a single one who stays at home, eating bon bons all day while watching The View). The world isn't going to come to end if my cookies are store bought, or if I don't make favor bags for a party. God rested on the 7th day and Martha Stewart has "people". The "Real" Housewives are not reality.
* Accept...that no, is a complete sentence. There is no need to justify myself. I can't always fit it all in, and the thing that gives shouldn't be my mental well being, in an attempt to be a people pleaser. Accept... that some people are in my life for a season and if they choose to walk out of it, then perhaps I am not supposed to chase after them. Accept...that I need to weigh my words before I speak them or type them. Words are precious and powerful. Words can be uplifting and life-giving, or they can break a spirit.
* Keep it in perspective... whether the glass is half empty or half full, I have a glass. I saw that on a poster somewhere, and it fits.
*Appreciate... my family and the little moments. Appreciate that my daughter talks to me almost nonstop because the day will come when it is like pulling teeth to get anything out of her. Appreciate the time we spend praying together as a family, every morning and every night and strive to not let it lose it's meaning because it's such a part of our routine. Appreciate the moments that blend together, making up our lives and realize we need to be present in these moments.
*Write...and write and write. I resolve to finish my novel this year so I can work on the other two ideas that are floating around in my head. I have dreamed of writing since I was 12 years old, and I need to write like I need to breathe. It feeds my soul. I owe it to that one teacher who made such a difference for me. I owe it to my husband who is my biggest cheerleader. I owe it to my daughter to help her believe that no dream, however far fetched, is unattainable. I owe it to my friends who have encouraged me and believed in me. I owe it to myself, and more than that, I owe it the God I serve to use the talent, I have been blessed with.
I wish each and every one of you a healthy and prosperous 2014. I encourage you to keep it in perspective. Perfection is an ideal, not a reality.