Sunday, August 18, 2013

Time Flies...

"Time flies"'s so cliché. We say it often and are nonchalant about it. However, there are moments in life that you realize how true that statement is. Tomorrow my only child starts 5th grade and it boggles my mind, that this once tiny being who was a prayer I whispered for nightly against my pillow is starting her final year of elementary school. This tween whose height is even with the bump on my nose, is in fact the same little girl I sang to and rocked to sleep nearly every night until she was three years old. I am in shock that the sassy, shoe stealing, lip gloss wearing young lady, was once the little girl whose hand I let go of in a Denny's parking lot to pick up her book, the one who spilled glitter all over my kitchen, and the one who flashed the entire congregation during her preschool Christmas performance. I truly am in awe of how time flies. I realize...all that time...all those years...really are just little moments. Hundreds of little moments that have made up her young life, and the memories that live in the heart of her mother.

Tonight, on the eve of 5th grade, I will do something I haven't done since who knows when. I will pull out the storage container from her closet floor, and dig through the treasures that lay within it, and find her favorite book from when she was a toddler. I will crawl into her bed and read her a bedtime story. While she sleeps, I will make pancake batter, so when she wakes up tomorrow she can have chocolate chip pancakes made in the pan that is molded like the face of a pig. She will giggle and I will remember that the piggy shaped pancake, is reminiscent of her former obsession with obsession that began just before her fourth birthday when I took her to see the movie Charlotte's Web. I will create a moment, one that she may not remember, one that may be lost when I am yelling at her to hurry up or she is going to be late for school...but I will still create a moment nevertheless.

Tomorrow, I will pause for a few seconds and take it all in. I will take her picture on her first day of her last year of elementary school and I will allow it to sink in, and I will take notice that it is a moment in time...and time flies.

Friday, August 2, 2013

If blowing out candles on a birthday cake really made wishes come true...what would you wish for? Since today is my birthday, I began to wonder what I would wish for. A bigger house? A newer car? A better job? No. I have given it a great deal of thought. If I had three wishes...I would wish for...

* A time machine. I would have conversations with my younger self and instill the knowledge it took me 36 years to gain. I wouldn't undo any single event good or bad because... that would mean altering the course that is my life, a life in which I'm happy. I would just impart true being healthy has little to do with numbers on a scale, and that the most incredible blessings in life are the ones worth waiting for.

*The ability to recall memories and feel, see, touch, taste, hear and smell the moments just by thinking about them. I would think about my grandpa and be able to feel his arms around me, and breathe in the smell of garlic and Ben Gay. I would remember kissing my dad goodbye before school every morning, and feel the stubble on his cheek and the sound of his voice as he said "Love you, baby." I would think about the moments when the magic of life happens, the moments that are important, the ones that we don't even realize matter until we are looking back. I would be able to remember the way Charli smelled when she was a baby, the sound of her little toddler voice, and the feel of her hand in mine back when it was so much smaller.

*A "Beam Me Up Scotty" machine, big enough for me and a few friends...Seriously how cool would that be?! I could just step in a capsule and beam myself to Italy for a bottle of wine for dinner. My girls and I would never miss another book signing. I could go visit all the places on my bucket list with out the hassle of car or air travel. Yes a Scotty Machine indeed.

Thirty six certainly isn't old by any stretch, though when I was seventeen it seemed ancient. I have learned that sometimes you have to agree to disagree, especially when it comes to your family. I have learned that being able to let go of things helps you hold on to others. I have learned the value of true friendship and am blessed to have true friends. I have learned that regardless of how I would like certain people to take better care of themselves, I can't do it for them. Murphy's Law always applies and sometimes you need to be okay with where you are in order to get where you want to be. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.

Today is my birthday. I am content, well loved and happy. It is a very happy birthday.