Do you ever have those moments when you aren't very proud of your behavior as a parent?! Well tonight I actually told my kid to shut up!!! This is huge as it is not something I ever say to her. We don't say it to her and Mark and I don't say it to each other. She was over tired and missing her daddy...I am over tired and missing my husband. Charli got mad because I told her she couldn't have her chocolate muffin before dinner and to go do her math homework (ixl which is a computer program.) She got mad and in a fit of temper while I was outside walking the dogs (Did I mention I really miss my husband?!) she decided to evict my letter "m" from it's happy place on my keyboard. She comes running outside a little teary eyed and very apologetic but I kind of lost it. She stood before me, lip quivering, and confessed her sin. I asked her how it happened and she said "I guess I was mad." Well then I got mad, yelled at her, yelled at the dogs to stop sniffing every single blade of grass on our blasted half acre and for the love of pete to hurry up and just PEE. I sent Charli in the house, got the dogs in, fixed my letter "m" all the while suspecting she did something to my letter "d" because it looks wrong like it is leaning to the left. I had to pull the tape off the "m" because she tried to "fix" it. We sat together and while she did her ixl, and when she tried to argue about a problem and refused to listen, well that is when I said it...Charli SHUT UP!!! I suddenly felt a little like Ralphie from "A Christmas Story", maybe I needed to go sit in the bathroom and bite on a bar of soap. I could probably get the whole soap poisoning act down. It took me all of two seconds to realize what I said to Charli and I apologized. I, of course justified it...if she would just be quiet and let me explain then I wouldn't have had to yell that not nice phrase.
I told her earlier tonight she was going to bed at 8:00. I guess I got through to her because at 7:55 she brushed her teeth, talked to her daddy, and after they hung up she asked me to tuck her in for the night. I apologized again...and justified again (hey I am not proud of it). We said our prayers and I kissed her good night. The house is quiet for now but I need to go start the wash and walk the dogs, again!