Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The Story of Grandma's "flab"

Today is or maybe I am supposed to say was my grandfather's birthday. My grandpa was the kind of man whose presence could be felt in a room before you ever saw him standing there. He loved my grandmother with every fiber of his being, to the depths of his soul. If I had to pick one word to describe my grandpa, it would be jolly. He was always whistling, or doing the cha-cha-cha, he would dance this little jig and he would say cha-cha-cha. Grandpa was an incredible storyteller and he made the best garlic dressing in the world. I remember he always smelled like garlic and Ben-Gay and every time I smell either it makes me smile from the inside out. He liked to get on to us grand kids every now and then and put us to work. We lived either next door to my grandparents, or with my grandparents for most of my life, when I was growing up. I remember grandpa would walk over to our house on Saturday morning and our wake up call was grandpa saying rather loudly "Larrie Ellen ain't ya got something these girls can do?" My mother's name is Laurie but her family is from West Virginia so "her people" pronounce it Lar-rie.

We really scored in the grandparent department. My cousins and I were blessed to have the type of grandparents most kids dream of. Nearly every single happy memory from my childhood is related in one way or another to my grandparents. We have had some real amazing belly laughs. In honor of my grandpa, I wanted to share a story. There are so many good ones, and I am truly giggling at all the things going around in my head. I think I will tell a story about grandma, but it really is more about my older sister.

When were were little my sister Tracy did something we have never let her live down. Tracy, my cousin Katie and I were goofing around. We used to giggle about Grandma's arm flab. We were just kids, I was probably 8 or 9. Back then we thought Grandma was so old, and she had little old lady arm "wings." Tracy takes some kool-aid powder and she puts about a tablespoon or so in a baggie. She twists it so that it is super tight and she says "Look this is my arm flab." and then she takes the baggie and makes it really loose so the powder gets caught in the wrinkles of the baggie and then she says "Look, this is Grandma's arm flab." We laughed so hard we weren't sure if we were going to cry or pee.

Now the best part of this story is that when I retell it, in front of my grandma, to this very day she will say "Tracy Lynn" and if my sister is within arms reach grandma pops her that my friends is good stuff. I have gotten so many miles out of this story. When we gather at the holidays if Tracy is being rotten as only sisters can be all I have to do is say...Hey Grandma. Tracy's response is always "KIM! You better not."

I am glad grandma has no idea how to access the Internet because after I shared this story with the free world...Tracy might not be the only one getting popped.

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