Thursday, January 17, 2013


Picture mothers kitchen 1990 something. The walls of my parents galley kitchen were painted this horrible bright lemon yellow. Mom loved it, I guess she was going through a phase. It was raining outside, storming to beat the band. My mom asked me to go make a pot of tea and my daddy was in the kitchen making zucchini bread... from scratch with the zucchini fresh from his garden. He had just finished shredding the zucchini and walked around with his chest puffed out, proud as a peacock getting in touch with his inner Betty Crocker. I went into the kitchen to start the tea, turning on the stove burner (paying no mind to the glass casserole baking dish sitting on top of the stove) I always used when I made tea. I went to the sink and filled the pot with water. My parents had been watching Die Hard 2 on VHS...are you feeling old now? There I am in the kitchen looking out the window waiting on the pot to fill when... thunder crashes, lighting strikes, Bruce blows up the plane and that glass casserole dish explodes all simultaneously. Shards of glass rained down like pieces of crystal snow into my Dad's grated zucchini. The proud peacock scooped me up out of the kitchen (my daddy was not a very big man but he was strong as an ox) and carried me over the tile and got me onto the carpet in the dining room. Mom jumped up and I scurried to the bathroom, (white as a ghost and tears streaming down my face). Mom came in checking to make sure I wasn't cut. I did have a piece of glass in my foot but I was really no worse for wear. I shaved about 5 years off everyones life, nobody can ever watch Die Hard in our family without thinking of that story (laughing at my expense)and my Dad never attempted to make zucchini bread again while I lived under their roof. In fact I remember one time well after I got married when I called my parents and my dad says "Hey kid, you coming out today?" I replied "No, Dad not today why?" He said "Because I'm makin' zucchini bread." He laughed and laughed. True story folks, I can't make this stuff up.

Last week I was whipping up chicken salsa. I preheated the oven, laid my boneless skinless chicken breast in a glass casserole dish, poured my organic salsa over it and put it in the oven and set the timer for 25 minutes. I went into my bedroom and five minutes later I heard this ungodly explosion. I ran to the kitchen, opened the oven door and 2 pieces of glass flew out and one of them hit me...bullseye, right in the leg. I didn't get cut, I was just ticked. I really wanted that chicken! I called Mark and because he knows the zucchini story, first like a good husband he asked if I was okay, when I assured him I was... Mark started laughing...not haha but belly laughing, hard! You know, laughing so hard you are grasping for breath laughing? Needless to say we had pizza that night for dinner. As for my explosive knack with glass casserole dishes...well in the words of John McClaine "Yippy ki ay" :)

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